Flm, TV, Books & Music, Life, Tags, Uncategorized

The Importance Of Music.

Is there anything better than having a jam out to your favourite songs? As I was sat struggling to decide what to blog about today I realised that I was procrastinating so that I could listen to my playlists on Spotify. Music brings me so much happiness, music has helped me in the past and is still currently helping me through the tough times in my life, whether I’m listening to the deepest/ darkest tunes or the happiest songs in existence, it makes me feel something that only music can make you feel. The fact that music can do this to so many people around the world is truly amazing, it can form communities and build relationships. Honestly when was the last time that you felt a bit down in the dumps and so you put on some of your favourite songs, no matter what the genre, I bet it lifted your spirits by the time the first chorus played.

I use music all day everyday. I’m not sure if that’s healthy or not but its how I cope with life. I listen when I’m a little nervous on the buses, when I’m bored during the day, to relax me when I’m stressed, when I need to focus during revision and to send me off to sleep at night. My whole routine revolves around music and the great feelings it gives me. A great song will stick with me for the rest of my life, discovering a new band is like Christmas morning. I’m one of those people who doesn’t have a specific favourite genre, my everyday playlists consist of pop, rock, R & B, rap, 80’s tunes and God knows what else. If a song or band can make me dance like an idiot then its for me, I like most songs, its very rare for me to dislike a song but I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen (won’t mention specifics as I don’t want to offend).

Music can heal, music can do things to people that nothing else can. Have you ever been to a really great concert? Where everyone just forgets about the world for a few hours and just lets loose, its the most magical environment to be in, I need to go to more concerts in 2017, I didn’t go to a proper music concert this year.

I’ve been listening to a lot recently and I just thought that I’d share how important it is to me and so many other people from around the world. Props to all of the amazing artists out there who supply this magic. That’s all for today. Till tomorrow,

Abby x

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Life, Rants, Tags, Uncategorized

A (sort of) Letter To My Future Self.

I wanted to take some time today to reflect on where I am, who I am and who I want to be later in life. I’ve had a really rough couple of years and although my life may seem fine and dandy I can assure you its not all fun and games. Life has not been doing me too well recently which sucks because after quite possibly the hardest point in my life in 2015, I thought my life was going up an uphill slope. But as we all know, when you reach the top there’s a bloody long way down and unless you know how to stay happy at the top, you’ll slide right back down. Currently in that situation. I’m not the same person on the inside as I am on the outside. For some reason I just can’t be myself unless I’m alone, I’m not comfortable with anyone not even myself if there’s a mirror or camera involved. I want to change this and I feel that I need to for my mental health. I know that mental health is all anyone talks about and I’m not claiming that there’s an issue with me, I just don’t want anything to develop that I can’t fix.

I’m doing this now so that when I’m 30 or 40 or 50 I can look back and think “thank god I sorted myself out back then”. I don’t want to be that age and still be looking in disgrace at myself the same way I do now. I’m not confident, I’m not healthy and I’m not happy. I’m stressed, I’m lonely and I’m an outsider. It’s not the things that I am that get to me, I can deal with sitting alone, I can deal with stress and I can deal with staying in watching TV instead of going out. That’s not too bad, it would just be nice to experience those things you know?

It’s what I’m not that bothers me. I don’t want to look the way I do, I don’t want to act the way I do, I don’t want to dress the way I do and I don’t want to think the way I do. Right now I have acne, I’m borderline overweight (which I’ve never actually been brave enough to admit), I have very few friends who I don’t often contact and the way I present myself in terms of clothes and makeup efforts is horrendous. I basically wear the same thing everyday and I’ve given up with makeup, I just don’t have the time.

2017 will be different. I tell myself this every year. But this year is different (I also say this every year). This year I’m going to sort this mess out (and again) and become the happy person that I see myself as in my head.

I’ll work on my fitness, seen as a flight of stairs kill me at the minute. I’ll drink loads of water and get the glow in my skin that I dream of. I’ll spend more time outside when the temperature increases of course, I don’t fancy hypothermia. I’ll paint my nails, I’ll take care of self, have a bath and use a face mask every once in a while. I’ll learn how to do cool things with my makeup, try new products and try to not look like  zombie in public. I might even cut my hair! When I’m more confident with my body I’ll start to be more adventurous with my clothes and stock up a new wardrobe for university. I’ll have my uni offers and move out of the family house. I’ll make new friends and go for nights out. I’ll make  a real effort with my studies and find support in people when I need it.

I’ll work on my social anxiety, maybe speak up more, talk to people who I don’t know or don’t know well. I’ll keep in touch with my old friends as if we’ve not spent time apart at all.

A message to my future self would be: You’ve let people walk all over you before, don’t let it happen again. Don’t let anyone dampen your dreams, work hard and you’ll see results. Its okay to lose motivation but you are in charge of your life, no one can make you do anything except for you. I hope you find endless love and happiness and feel confidence within yourself. I hope you are surrounded by positivity and encouragement and I hope that you find closure from this dark phase of your life and find the strength to let it go.

 

Sorry for the very personal post, today’s not been too great of a day and I needed to let out some feelings. This post may be edited or taken down in the future, I can’t help but feel that this is a little too personal and depressing which is not what I want my blog to be about. But now is the time for me to move on past this dark phase and be on the yellow brick road to an amazing life, positive posts to follow.

Till tomorrow,

Abby x

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Rants, Uncategorized

Being Different.

So here’s the thing with me… I’m not like everyone else.

I’m not an outcast, I have friends, I go to school, I have a social life and most importantly I’m happy (little stressed and overwhelmed but happy nevertheless).

I’m not stereotyping people my age by any means but as a 17 year old I feel like my interests don’t lie with my demographics. By this I mean I don’t get drunk, I don’t party through the night, I don’t get in to clubs underage and I don’t use drugs.

I feel like nowadays, this is how you make friends. Of course it is, it gives you a subject to talk about and laugh about but it kinda just makes me feel uncomfortable. I couldn’t imagine myself at house parties getting drunk with people from school and doing stuff that I probably shouldn’t be doing, ever. It’s just not my scene, not my thing. It also differentiates me from most of my family, they get drunk and are always trying to force it down my neck when ever there’s a family event and for some reason they just don’t understand that I don’t want it.

I’m not against drinking, or getting drunk for that matter but for me it’ll come in its own time. I’m not going to drink my life away I mean its not even legal for me to at this age anyways. Does this make me a loser because I’m following the law, am I a loser because I don’t want to do stuff that makes me uncomfortable? Apparently so.

I’ve never understood the fascination with alcohol to be honest, maybe that’ll change when I go to university but I can function well enough without it and I will be until I feel ready to change, even if it means making myself stand out at every family event for the next year. I just don’t like it when someone offers me a drink, I feel guilty, I don’t know if I want it or am allowed it, it stresses me out and makes me really anxious and so I look ridiculous standing then stressing and sweating in front of whoever it is trying to pressure me in to it.

I don’t have many friends that are in to that sort of life either. We aren’t addicted to the sesh and we don’t try to get into clubs underage, that doesn’t mean we’re prude or stuck up it just means its not our comfort zone  and we would rather not be there.  Who knows if that will change later in my life, this time next year I’ll have hopefully survived freshers week and will most likely be at clubs with my new friends but for now I’m just trying to enjoy my last year of my childhood (even though I couldn’t feel more like a granny right now).

I would love to go to festivals and clubs and have a great social life but that time is not right now and I’m a firm believer of waiting until you know the time is right, because you always know whats best for yourself. For now I’ll carry on daydreaming about my aspirations and getting excited for my turnaround in the coming year.

Don’t feel pressured into drinking or the use of drugs, trust me its better to sacrifice the losers who pressure you and sacrifice being popular or whatever the pressure is. If you aren’t comfortable with something then remove yourself from the situation no matter what the consequences are because no one deserves to be forced in to any situation that they don’t want to be in. You knows what’s best for yourself and if that makes you different well then… join the fucking club.

Hope you enjoyed this post, I’m currently planning more. As always I’d love feedback.

Till next time,

Abby x

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Travel, Uncategorized

OFF TO FRANCE

Saturday 23rd July 6.36AM

Dear diary,

I am so sorry that there was no post on Monday, I honestly forgot and my the time I realised, it was too late and the post would’ve been awful. I have some good post plans ready for this summer that I’m so excited to share with you guys.

So it’s currently 6.38AM and I’m awake in bed typing this post because in a few hours I will be making my way to a place called Normandy in France. That means one thing and one thing only… The Waughs are off on their holidays. We will be gone for 13 days (I think?) but expect some posts even if they are just short ones because I’ll need am excuse to go to the wifi hotspots ( mainly because I WILL need a break from my fam at some points hahahah).

From what I’ve read, Normandy is quite a rural but beautiful place with lots of history, museums and stunning architecture so you better be excited for some pictures and blog posts about what I get up to.

Again, sorry about this weeks post but I promise I will catch up on posts and most weeks when I return from France there will be more than one post a week.

I’m almost at 300 followers as well… That’s crazy so thank you so much, it means a lot when people read these.

Lastly, feel free to comment as always or message me on any of my social media, don’t be shy. If any of you have been to Normandy or anywhere near it please leave a comment with suggestions of where to go, that would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading, till next time,

Abby x

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ps. Sorry about the short post. The wait will be worth it for some banging posts I promise, love you x

Uncategorized

A little University talk

Monday 4th July,

Dear Diary,

Let’s start with an update. First things first (I’m the realest), I finish my first year of sixth form on Thursday. That’s 3 DAYS WHATT!!! I honestly still feel 12 years old no way do I only have one year of education left. Its been a crazy year and in 2 weeks time I will be writing a post on everything I have learnt from my first year there, so look forward to that. Secondly, I have over 100 followers WOW thank you. That’s amazing I couldn’t have asked for more. Thirdly, and for me the most exciting, I WILL be starting my own YouTube channel! I will be uploading on a Saturday at around 7pm from the 16th July so head on over and subscribe please, I will sub back of course. I have literally wanted to do this since 2012 and so any support is greatly appreciated. Last;y, this summer is a summer of change. Starting from this Friday, I am going to live a much more healthy lifestyle and hopefully shift some unwanted weight. I will be recording my progress through this blog and hope to be a transformed person by the end of the summer. Now onto the actual post…

So I am now at the end of my AS to A2 transition weeks (the time between the first year and summer where we are introduced to the second year of sixth form- which is intense). Throughout these 4 weeks I have been bombarded with coursework and content for next years exams and its driving me crazy. I have had to complete an application to do an EPQ (Extended Project Qualification) which just requires more work and I’ve already had to write my first draft of my personal statement for university (OMG). I have applied for UCAS and shortlisted my universites and courses that I’m applying for, that’s terrifying!

Writing my personal statement was tough because you have to think about yourself and what makes you so great. All fun and games until you realise you’re a boring nerd who’s talents include: Finishing an entire season on netflix in one sitting, eating a whole tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in one sitting and being able to cry on demand. Actually not on demand, or by choice, just all the time. hahhahah i’m kidding (a little).

I actually ended up asking for help with my first paragraph, seen as the furthest I could get was writing my name. Once I was past the dreaded first paragraph I was on a roll. The maximum was 4,000 characters and mine is near 5,000. Good luck future me on cutting that down. I had too much to write about ans my fingers actually ached from typing so fast. As the woman in the UCAS video says “no one knows you better than you do”, so write everything you can think of, even if you thing you’re the most boring person in the planet, some one else won’t. There’s always someone who finds you captivating even if its only your mam, so ask around and find out why you’re interesting! You’ll probably get some amazing answers.

If you are going into your last year of sixth form and are in the same position as me, leave a comment or message me on any of my social media that I’ll leave at the bottom of the page. Also if you are currently going to or at university (especially Leeds, Sunderland, York St.John or Newcastle) let me know what its like because maybe it’ll calm me down a bit. I’d love to hear whats happening at your schools or universities/colleges wherever you are in the world so don’t be a stranger!

Sorry for the crappy post this week but I’m suffering with hayfever (a petty illness i know but I get it really bad okay!) so I’m not feeling great and I’ve typed this whole post with a “I’M GONNA SNEEZE” face which I’m sure you all know of and my head hurts so goodnight and till next time,

Abby x

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Rants, Uncategorized

Why you need to discuss hard feelings and how I learnt the hard way.

Monday 13th June 2016

Dear diary,

I completed my first day back at sixth form and I’m already sooo done with it but hey ho gotta carry on, 3 weeks and 3 days left.. but who’s counting?

So I was talking to my friend today who was telling me about an argument that she had with one of her closest friends and thankfully they apologized and made up , but this doesn’t always happen so smoothly. It reminded me of one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. Last year I fell out with my BEST friend (ex i guess now). Sounds childish but the ending of a friendship can be just as heartbreaking as the end of a relationship, if not worse, which this one certainly was.

So in 2013 I met my best friend. She was new to my school and some of my friends were showing her around, so of course she was introduced to me. Then completely by coincidence we ended up sitting next to each other in multiple different lessons and quickly bonded over our weirdness and love of Selena Gomez. Over the next 2 years we made an unbreakable bond which meant a hell of a lot to me because she was the first proper best friend I had ever had. Before her I was always the third wheel who got in the way of other peoples friendships and never had my own close friend. This shattered my confidence and I learned to hate school because for me, it was a place of loneliness. I like to think that it wasn’t my personality that prevented me from getting a best friend but rather that my social anxiety (which i keep banging on about i know im sorry) actually meant that I was so shy that I never had the confidence to start a conversation with anyone. When I met my ex BFF I decided that she was gonna be the one and I put all my effort into getting close to her, which I did quite successfully if I do say so my self. Our friendship was the single best thing that’s ever came into my life. Sound super lame but its as if she was like a gift from God himself to help me gain confidence and then leave when the job was completed.

BUT obviously this isn’t a happy story.

This girl was a piece of work. We were from completely different places, countries in fact. Her family was super rich and mine was not, she was soooo much more popular than I was and ALLLLLLLLL of the boys preferred her, yep. I was that friend. She also had tons of friends from outside of our school, most from her old school. One in particular she became really close with, but only after she left that school. She started hanging out with her more and that sucked because it kinda just rubbed in my face that she had other friends and mine were.. lets say limited? yeah, that’ll work. She just seemed perfect and I guess I was jealous? Well if I could be her I certainly would, she even has a stunning boyfriend now surprise surprise. All of these negative feelings bottled up inside of me because I couldn’t tell her face to face. I couldn’t tell her because I was so scared that the friendship would end, and that was the last thing I wanted. Then one day, you guessed it. My big mouth couldn’t hold it all in anymore.

I got angry because she wouldn’t come to see my favourite band with me. Stupid and spoilt I know but when all these feeling are inside you, the littlest thing can set it all of. Like a ticking time bomb that could explode in an instant. All of these feelings were spilling out in quite an angry tone and she was very quick to defend herself I’ll tell you that. She was so in denial that it annoyed me more and the argument was very heated very quickly. We argued probably all day and then didn’t talk for about a week. Then I caved in and realised that I had ruined everything. Me being terrified of loosing her, I typed a huge apology which took me ages now that I think about it and it contained all of the love that I had for her and how much she meant to me. I’ll tell you a secret, I wasn’t sorry at all. I didn’t want to loose my BFF and if lying was the way to get her back then lying is what I would do. ooops, let that one slip. She didn’t take it well, in fact she told me that she never wanted to talk to me again. So I cried, I cried a lot for a long time and we didn’t talk again.

Until… A few days before we started sixth form she apologised. We agreed to be civil and for the first few days of sixth form we went back to normal. But then, plot twist, guess who else shows up at our sixth form. Her new BFF (which was the one I talked about from her old school). Yep. you can imagine how pissed i was. I hated this girl. I couldn’t bear to be around her and so me and my ex bff went back to hating each other. 2 against 1, not fair at all if you ask me but I eventually got through it. I have a bomb ass group of friends who I love dearly and although the spot for my BFF is still standing (feel from to fill that) I feel better than ever.

Sometimes bottling up your hostile feelings towards someone who you love can turn them into your worst enemy, TALK TO THEM FOR GODS SAKE! Work it out before it gets to late, if I had talked about my feelings then I may still be besties with her, of course I’d be sharing *sarcastic YEY*  but oh well that’s over now. If there is someone negative in your life please remove them A.S.A.P and even though it may take some getting used to (I’m still getting used to it, everytime I see them together I die a bit inside, sad times) it’s worth it, you don’t need the negativity.

It feels good to talk about this and hopefully in the future I can write about a new friend who means so much to me. One day.

remove the negative. remove the negative. remove the negative.

ALWAYS TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, GOOD OR BAD.

Till next time,

Abby x

P.s Pwoah that was deep but it needed discussing. Expect more posts soon, I’ll try and make them good, maybe someone will read them hahahah

P.s.P.s I just read this through and it literally sounds like an extract from a young teens book, how cool would this be as a book?! Added to the bucket list which doesn’t actually exist. Also this post is quite long, congrats if you’re still reading. Anyways, as you were.

Rants, Uncategorized

An Update

12th June 2016

Dear diary,

Okay so you know how I mentioned how i’m bad at keeping a diary? Yeah, it’s been a while.

Since I last posted I have sat all of my AS exams (which required days of revision, or should I say it required a lot of pretending to revise), I shouldn’t make excuses I know but I have been very busy. As I only have 4 more weeks of sixth form left until September I thought that I’d get back on the blogging band wagon because it’s something that I actually enjoy doing. I’m also considering starting a YouTube channel over the summer as I love the idea of having all these memories that you can look back at and reminisce about, call me conventional I get it.

I’ve also been nagged about universities more than ever, research has been done, prospectuses have been ordered and decisions are being made. I know that I want to study a Media degree as it is what I enjoy and want to pursue as a career one day. I’m currently looking at the Media and Communication degree that Leeds uni has to off and I love it! I’m booking for an open day and I am desperate to study this course as it contains all the things I love to study in media. Only issue being the entry requirements, AAB, not saying it’s impossible but i’m gonna have to work my little ass off to get those grades because i’m not studying the easiest subjects. I also like the sound of media degrees at Sunderland and York St. John which are my backup plans as they are easier to get in to. I’m still so conflicted about uni but the research is good because i@m most likely going to attend uni.

On another note, I applied for another job yesterday which I actually would like to do. Over the Christmas holidays I worked in Cath Kidston and even though it was a nice work environment, I decided that retail was not for me, my social anxiety went through the roof and the constant interaction with strangers who were expecting me to know everything even though I had only worked there once a week for a few weeks was undoubtedly stressful. The job I applied for is room cleaning in a hotel, probs some peoples worst nightmare but I love to clean and there’s not too much interaction. Plus, you’re always busy which would defiantly make the shifts go quicker. I probably won’t even get the job but the idea of applying has made my mam lay off me a tad about getting a job hahaha.

It’s my birthday on Friday!! Friday 17th June 2016 will be the day I turn 17, alas! I’m getting a set of driving lessons which is terrifying but I am forcing myself to learn to drive because after getting the bus everywhere for 7 years you learn to despise every public transport in the world. I mean i’m sure its fine but the buses in the North East are filled with smelly people with loud kids.. no thanks mate, I’d rather not sit next to your wet dog who stinks of shit, will catch the next bus which will arrive in about 4 more hours. I’m actually excited for this birthday even though i’m not really celebrating it, season 4 of OITNB comes out plus the season 4 finale of Orphan Black, who could ask for more am i right??

One last thing, i’m back at sixth form TOMORROW. I’ve had 4 weeks off for study leave which has most defiantly been more of a leave than a study. woops. I managed to watch every season of Skins and a lot of youtube vids but I still turned up to my exams, which is more than some people can say haha. It should be okay its only 3 weeks and 4 days but whose counting right?  actually want to catch up with people and get back into routine although i’ll be over it be Tuesday. Also, my fave person Adrianna isn’t coming back to sixth form which is devastating because i love her so much and we’ve sat next to each other in media all year, the lols where good. I will defo be meeting up with her sometime because I refuse to accept that this is the end of our friendship.

Oh and I nearly forgot to mention, a few weeks ago on the 2nd of June I met CASPAR FRIKIN LEE! I love his videos and when I saw Gateshead on his book tour I had to go, I could write a post about the experience with photos if you’d like to see that, I may also do another one next week because on the 18th, me and Maddie (from my first every post) are meeting JC AND FRIKIN KIAN hahahah, happy birthday to me from me (and sorry to my bank account, i’m now broke) let me know if you’d like to see that, or just if anyone actually reads my posts at all lol.

I hope to post a lot more, maybe daily. M A Y B E. Don’t hold that to me. As i said before, even if no one reads this, they’re nice to look back on and reminisce about, will post more from now on. Sorry this was literally all over the place, I feel like an old granny having a catch up with her old granny friends who may or may not actually be reading hahahhaha.

Till next time,

Abby x

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Tags

Invade my privacy tag

Saturday 9th April 2016

Dear diary,

I am aware that I haven’t posted for 12 days, that is the exact reason why I can not and do not actually keep a diary. Truth is that I have been doing absolutely nothing and have no excuse for not posting. For being so rubbish I decided to to a tag so that you can get to know me better. That is is anyone reads this.

Did you wake up cranky?

This morning, surprisingly not, I was quite impressed that I woke earlier than 11am to be honest but every other morning… Yes. I am not a morning person.

Would you date an 18 year old at your current age?

Yes, I’m almost 17 so I think that would be fine.

Do you prefer being friends with boys or girls?

I have no preference. Most of my friends are girls but being friends with boys can be fun, they don’t mind farting or weirdness and they’re much more likely to keep a secret.

Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Of course, I do it more often than I should even just to people I walk past in the street. I don’t do it all the time though because for the most part I just get blanked or get a strange look in response.

How do you look right now?

Like an absolute nutter. I’m in Minnie mouse PJs with a green face fask on and wet hair.. Great look.

How often do you listen to music?

I like to fall asleep listening to music and also any bus journey must include music, and I use a lot of busses.

Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans but only because it makes me look more put together and less tired than I actually am. I wish I owned more sweats, I definitely prefer them over jeans.

Do you think your life will dramatically change before 2017?

It could but I wouldn’t expect it. Obviously anything could happen but I can only hope that if something does chamge, that it is for the better.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I’m the best! Years of practice. It’s very hard to read me and most of the time no one can guess how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking.

Do you care if people talk badly of you?

It depends who it is. I care if anyone talks bad about me but I’m a lot more inclined to feel bad about it if I have and have had a personal relationship with that person. I can usually shove it off, I’m rarely upset.

Name something that you have to do tomorrow?

Finish my work and revise for going back to sixth form on Monday seen as my exams are in like 5 weeks. Uh oh.

Name something that you’ve disliked about today?

The fact that I didn’t finish my work and revise for sixth form on Monday like I had planned.

Are you nice to everyone?

I’d like to think that I am, only time I’m not nice is if I have a reason to.

Does anyone hate you?

Only a handful of people spring to mind, ex friends but that can’t really be changed now and I’m not phased by it.

Are you social or antisocial?

I come across as very antisocial but that’s because I’ve always been quite shy and also due to the fact that my friends live ages away from me. I’m actually a really social person but not a lot of people get to see that side to me.

Are you a jealous person?

Yes, but only when I give people 100% and I only get part of that back because they have someone else that they’re giving 100% to, that annoys me.

If you had to delete one year of your life forever, which one would it be?

2011. By far the worst year of my life and I was only 11 years old. I made a lot of mistakes and was very unhappy that year. I try not to ever think about it.

Did you have a dream last night?

A nightmare actually. I won’t go into depth as it could be offensive but basically Donald Trump won the election and something terrible happened in the shopping centre and my sister and I almost died, I never got to see the ending.

Is your life different to what it was 2 years ago?

Completely. New school, new friends, I had a comfortable routine back then and the best friends I could’ve had but now that’s all changed.

Do you repeat things that have happened in your head?

All the time, the good and bad memories. Usually when I’m in the shower or before I go to bed.

What do you want to accomplish in life?

I want to be successful and happy so that my family (if I have one) van be stable and full of joy. I want people to be happy and if I can make that happen then that’s what I want to do.

That was deep, I’m going to do some more posts like this soon but I have some planned for the next few weeks. Till next time,

Abby x

Travel

An unexpected religious experience

Thursday 17th and Friday 18th March 2016

Dear Diary,

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”- Buddha

I had never felt as consciously pessimistic about any trip in my life. I had agreed to go on a two day Buddhist ‘extravaganza’ to the Samye Ling Buddhist Monastery in Scotland as part of my A level religious studies course, I wasn’t exactly enthused. Luckily I had my friend Madison to go with, who was equally pessimistic about the whole situation and knew how to make every situation hilarious (which doesn’t always go down well in a temple). The thoughts that sprung to mind about what I thought the trip would be like were mainly: cold, rainy, cringy and awkward which certainly isn’t my idea of fun. Let’s just say that this place absolutely defied my expectations.

The 2 and a half hour bus journey wasn’t the best. It was cramped and loud but that’s where Maddie stepped in to distract me and calmed my anxiety about the whole situation (because stepping outside of my comfort zone sends my anxiety through the roof!). We chatted the WHOLE time, which is unusual for me as I’m quite a timid person around people who I haven’t known for a long time and by the time we arrived, my nerves were well under control. The weather when we arrived was beautiful, the first proper sun I had seen all year and made for some pretty pics.

For the remainder of the trip we had a tour, ate some Buddhist meals (which weren’t great ngl), lots of pringles (because the meals tasted like crap), saw some Buddhist practices and had a q+a session with a nun. It was so surreal and different but in a way it was the most calming experience, my anxiety didn’t spark at any point. We were taught how to meditate properly and it has seriously inspired me to include meditation in my life more often as it is a life saver for those who suffer with anxiety.

I now have an incredible amount of respect for Buddhism and I feel like their teachings and practices will really come in useful for me at times. It’s amazing to see how some people have completely devoted their lives to this religion and showing kindness and compassion at all times, this is something that seemed so hard to me but with the right mindfulness it is possible.

To show my respect to the religion, I now wear a red string around my left wrist to represent compassion and as a reminder to always have right mindfulness.

Lastly, I apologize for the poor writing skills. I have put off writing this first post for weeks now but I really do want to keep this blog updated. I hope this first topic was a goodin’. I’ll leave you with some pictures from the trip. Till next time,

Abby x