Uncategorized

Meeting YouTubers – My Experience

Monday 27th June 2016

Dear Diary,

So over the past 4 years I have been watching YouTube religiously, more than TV! I started by watching pranksters such as the Janoskians (a personal fave) and then moved on to the likes of O2l and Joe Sugg in the later years. I think YouTube is amazing and the entertainment creators have made themselves a part of a new internet generation that really have changed the world and the media within it. I would LOVE to start a YouTube channel, I’ve wanted to for years and if I can get permission, I would love to start this Summer. The most amazing thing is getting to meet some of your favourite creators and be able to tell them how they’ve affected your life. I’ve been lucky enough to see some of my favourite YouTubers in person and I will continue to meet more in the future when possible. Yes they may not be able to sing, dance or act (some of them can though) but they can still make an audience laugh, cry and feel all the feels with their videos, that’s why they are unique and I love them for it, although I don’t think my parents will ever understand it.

I have been lucky enough to meet Colleen Ballinger (Miranda Sings), Rachel Ballinger, Caspar Lee, Kian Lawley and Jc Caylen. I also saw the Janoskians (ahhhh my faves) live even though the meet and greet tickets were sold out, I thought I would share my experiences.

November 14th 2014, Miranda Sings concert and meet and greet:

The concert was amazing and hilarious, I “felt all of the feels” hahaha. I met Colleen after the show, woh dressed as Miranda and posed for  pictures as Miranda also. It was ages ago but I still remember our hug and her telling me “OMG this is the best hug ever!!” I mean she probably says that to everyone but it made it such a special experience. Her sister Rachel ( also a great YouTuber) took the pictures and afterwards I asked her for a picture also because I am a huge fan of both of their channels, she was happy to do so and I got a lovely hug from her too. Both of the Ballinger sisters were amazing, polite and great huggers so I would defiantly recommend meeting them if you have the chance. If I remember correctly, the tickets weren’t too expensive either, worth the pennies!

September 3rd 2015, Janoskians Jahoo Jahaa tour show:

As I said before, I couldn’t get meet and greet tickets for this show, which I was devastated about because as I also said, I’d been a fan for years but I was still so grateful that I got to see them live. The show was hilarious full of excitement and laughter along with some great tunes. Not gonna lie, I cried when they came on stage because I was so overwhelmed and I literally lost my voice for a week after the concert. My friend had to calm me down various times during the show because I couldn’t believe that they were actually in the same room as me…. cringe but I loved it! We had tickets to sit up on the balcony but as we went into the venue, we were told that it was closed so we ran to get the best view possible, and we did have a great view. Too bad it looked crap on pictures hahaha. Overall it was an amazing night, perhaps the best night of my life. It’s just a shame that they aren’t what they used to be, I’m glad I got to see James with them.

June 2nd 2016, meeting Caspar Lee at his book signing:

I WAS SO EXCITED!! Caspar is one of my favourite ever YouTubers and so when I found out that he was coming to Gateshead, I knew I had to get tickets. I went with the same friend who I saw the Janoskians with and she was equally as excited. They really did make it personal even though you only had time for a very brief conversation. You got a copy of his book which his mam Emily signed first, she wrote your name on the book as well which was a nice personal touch that I loved. You then got it signed by Caspar who knew your name from the book. He was able to take pictures and have a conversation with everyone even though there was hundreds of people there. He was lovely and I got the best hug from him, we posed for a picture as well but the stupid lady taking the pictures didn’t take it. Not gonna lie that annoyed me a lot but I’m still so grateful that I got to meet him and got a hug, even if there is no proof of that happening. He was so lovely and it’s a moment that I’ll never forget.

June 18th 2016, Kian and Jc’s don’t try this at home tour plus meet and greet:

Me and my friend Maddie (who I’ve mentioned before in my first post) are obsessed with these two boys so when we found out they were coming here we got tickets straight away and upgraded to VIP as soon as they came out! We met them before the show and it was amazing. Me and Maddie went in together and we videoed eachother meeting them. They are just like they are in their videos, weird, funny but also really sweet guys. They made it personal by asking us our names and having a proper conversation with us. I was telling them about my birthday which they got really excited about, Jc told me to take a shot on him hahaha. They were lovely when they were giving me hugs (I got 2 hugs from each woops idec) and they were really cute and huggy. They cuddled me in like a little teddy and although I was quite shy when meeting them, they made me feel comfortable and kept me close to them, it was lovely! The show was amazing, we got to see Harrison Ford as well and a music group named Taken (who are really good, check them out!) . Again, one of the best nights of my life although I did nearly witness Jc break his neck when he didn’t land his backflip ( I got a class video of it as well!) he’s fine but I got quite scared, Maddie just laughed ahhaha. I would love to meet them again one day!

 

I’m uploading a new post weekly now, every Monday night if anyone cares, not that anyone actually reads this stuff hahahha.

Till next week,

Abby x

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Rants, Uncategorized

Why you need to discuss hard feelings and how I learnt the hard way.

Monday 13th June 2016

Dear diary,

I completed my first day back at sixth form and I’m already sooo done with it but hey ho gotta carry on, 3 weeks and 3 days left.. but who’s counting?

So I was talking to my friend today who was telling me about an argument that she had with one of her closest friends and thankfully they apologized and made up , but this doesn’t always happen so smoothly. It reminded me of one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. Last year I fell out with my BEST friend (ex i guess now). Sounds childish but the ending of a friendship can be just as heartbreaking as the end of a relationship, if not worse, which this one certainly was.

So in 2013 I met my best friend. She was new to my school and some of my friends were showing her around, so of course she was introduced to me. Then completely by coincidence we ended up sitting next to each other in multiple different lessons and quickly bonded over our weirdness and love of Selena Gomez. Over the next 2 years we made an unbreakable bond which meant a hell of a lot to me because she was the first proper best friend I had ever had. Before her I was always the third wheel who got in the way of other peoples friendships and never had my own close friend. This shattered my confidence and I learned to hate school because for me, it was a place of loneliness. I like to think that it wasn’t my personality that prevented me from getting a best friend but rather that my social anxiety (which i keep banging on about i know im sorry) actually meant that I was so shy that I never had the confidence to start a conversation with anyone. When I met my ex BFF I decided that she was gonna be the one and I put all my effort into getting close to her, which I did quite successfully if I do say so my self. Our friendship was the single best thing that’s ever came into my life. Sound super lame but its as if she was like a gift from God himself to help me gain confidence and then leave when the job was completed.

BUT obviously this isn’t a happy story.

This girl was a piece of work. We were from completely different places, countries in fact. Her family was super rich and mine was not, she was soooo much more popular than I was and ALLLLLLLLL of the boys preferred her, yep. I was that friend. She also had tons of friends from outside of our school, most from her old school. One in particular she became really close with, but only after she left that school. She started hanging out with her more and that sucked because it kinda just rubbed in my face that she had other friends and mine were.. lets say limited? yeah, that’ll work. She just seemed perfect and I guess I was jealous? Well if I could be her I certainly would, she even has a stunning boyfriend now surprise surprise. All of these negative feelings bottled up inside of me because I couldn’t tell her face to face. I couldn’t tell her because I was so scared that the friendship would end, and that was the last thing I wanted. Then one day, you guessed it. My big mouth couldn’t hold it all in anymore.

I got angry because she wouldn’t come to see my favourite band with me. Stupid and spoilt I know but when all these feeling are inside you, the littlest thing can set it all of. Like a ticking time bomb that could explode in an instant. All of these feelings were spilling out in quite an angry tone and she was very quick to defend herself I’ll tell you that. She was so in denial that it annoyed me more and the argument was very heated very quickly. We argued probably all day and then didn’t talk for about a week. Then I caved in and realised that I had ruined everything. Me being terrified of loosing her, I typed a huge apology which took me ages now that I think about it and it contained all of the love that I had for her and how much she meant to me. I’ll tell you a secret, I wasn’t sorry at all. I didn’t want to loose my BFF and if lying was the way to get her back then lying is what I would do. ooops, let that one slip. She didn’t take it well, in fact she told me that she never wanted to talk to me again. So I cried, I cried a lot for a long time and we didn’t talk again.

Until… A few days before we started sixth form she apologised. We agreed to be civil and for the first few days of sixth form we went back to normal. But then, plot twist, guess who else shows up at our sixth form. Her new BFF (which was the one I talked about from her old school). Yep. you can imagine how pissed i was. I hated this girl. I couldn’t bear to be around her and so me and my ex bff went back to hating each other. 2 against 1, not fair at all if you ask me but I eventually got through it. I have a bomb ass group of friends who I love dearly and although the spot for my BFF is still standing (feel from to fill that) I feel better than ever.

Sometimes bottling up your hostile feelings towards someone who you love can turn them into your worst enemy, TALK TO THEM FOR GODS SAKE! Work it out before it gets to late, if I had talked about my feelings then I may still be besties with her, of course I’d be sharing *sarcastic YEY*  but oh well that’s over now. If there is someone negative in your life please remove them A.S.A.P and even though it may take some getting used to (I’m still getting used to it, everytime I see them together I die a bit inside, sad times) it’s worth it, you don’t need the negativity.

It feels good to talk about this and hopefully in the future I can write about a new friend who means so much to me. One day.

remove the negative. remove the negative. remove the negative.

ALWAYS TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, GOOD OR BAD.

Till next time,

Abby x

P.s Pwoah that was deep but it needed discussing. Expect more posts soon, I’ll try and make them good, maybe someone will read them hahahah

P.s.P.s I just read this through and it literally sounds like an extract from a young teens book, how cool would this be as a book?! Added to the bucket list which doesn’t actually exist. Also this post is quite long, congrats if you’re still reading. Anyways, as you were.

Rants, Uncategorized

An Update

12th June 2016

Dear diary,

Okay so you know how I mentioned how i’m bad at keeping a diary? Yeah, it’s been a while.

Since I last posted I have sat all of my AS exams (which required days of revision, or should I say it required a lot of pretending to revise), I shouldn’t make excuses I know but I have been very busy. As I only have 4 more weeks of sixth form left until September I thought that I’d get back on the blogging band wagon because it’s something that I actually enjoy doing. I’m also considering starting a YouTube channel over the summer as I love the idea of having all these memories that you can look back at and reminisce about, call me conventional I get it.

I’ve also been nagged about universities more than ever, research has been done, prospectuses have been ordered and decisions are being made. I know that I want to study a Media degree as it is what I enjoy and want to pursue as a career one day. I’m currently looking at the Media and Communication degree that Leeds uni has to off and I love it! I’m booking for an open day and I am desperate to study this course as it contains all the things I love to study in media. Only issue being the entry requirements, AAB, not saying it’s impossible but i’m gonna have to work my little ass off to get those grades because i’m not studying the easiest subjects. I also like the sound of media degrees at Sunderland and York St. John which are my backup plans as they are easier to get in to. I’m still so conflicted about uni but the research is good because i@m most likely going to attend uni.

On another note, I applied for another job yesterday which I actually would like to do. Over the Christmas holidays I worked in Cath Kidston and even though it was a nice work environment, I decided that retail was not for me, my social anxiety went through the roof and the constant interaction with strangers who were expecting me to know everything even though I had only worked there once a week for a few weeks was undoubtedly stressful. The job I applied for is room cleaning in a hotel, probs some peoples worst nightmare but I love to clean and there’s not too much interaction. Plus, you’re always busy which would defiantly make the shifts go quicker. I probably won’t even get the job but the idea of applying has made my mam lay off me a tad about getting a job hahaha.

It’s my birthday on Friday!! Friday 17th June 2016 will be the day I turn 17, alas! I’m getting a set of driving lessons which is terrifying but I am forcing myself to learn to drive because after getting the bus everywhere for 7 years you learn to despise every public transport in the world. I mean i’m sure its fine but the buses in the North East are filled with smelly people with loud kids.. no thanks mate, I’d rather not sit next to your wet dog who stinks of shit, will catch the next bus which will arrive in about 4 more hours. I’m actually excited for this birthday even though i’m not really celebrating it, season 4 of OITNB comes out plus the season 4 finale of Orphan Black, who could ask for more am i right??

One last thing, i’m back at sixth form TOMORROW. I’ve had 4 weeks off for study leave which has most defiantly been more of a leave than a study. woops. I managed to watch every season of Skins and a lot of youtube vids but I still turned up to my exams, which is more than some people can say haha. It should be okay its only 3 weeks and 4 days but whose counting right?  actually want to catch up with people and get back into routine although i’ll be over it be Tuesday. Also, my fave person Adrianna isn’t coming back to sixth form which is devastating because i love her so much and we’ve sat next to each other in media all year, the lols where good. I will defo be meeting up with her sometime because I refuse to accept that this is the end of our friendship.

Oh and I nearly forgot to mention, a few weeks ago on the 2nd of June I met CASPAR FRIKIN LEE! I love his videos and when I saw Gateshead on his book tour I had to go, I could write a post about the experience with photos if you’d like to see that, I may also do another one next week because on the 18th, me and Maddie (from my first every post) are meeting JC AND FRIKIN KIAN hahahah, happy birthday to me from me (and sorry to my bank account, i’m now broke) let me know if you’d like to see that, or just if anyone actually reads my posts at all lol.

I hope to post a lot more, maybe daily. M A Y B E. Don’t hold that to me. As i said before, even if no one reads this, they’re nice to look back on and reminisce about, will post more from now on. Sorry this was literally all over the place, I feel like an old granny having a catch up with her old granny friends who may or may not actually be reading hahahhaha.

Till next time,

Abby x

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